I use big words. But not TOO big, enough to where I “blend in” among other adult conversations. I may not have a CLUE what it is you’re saying to me, but by golly I’ll make it an effort to pretend I do.

I’m sure some people have caught on by now and have realized that I will typically use a word completely out of context or mispronounce it altogether. I read plenty, probably should read more, and I have a degree, so it’s not a lack of education. It’s almost as if one day I woke up and realized that everyone around me were all using big words so to go along with everyone else, I decided to throw some in there too.

With that in mind, I do judge people on their word usage. If I’m having a conversation with someone that I don’t know and this new person is using complex  words, my initial response is, “Wow! This guy is old!” Then, my mind starts to wonder how complex this person’s life is at home. I automatically assume that complex word usage amounts to that person being much older than me (or very good at being an “adult”) and their life is much more advanced/complex than my own. I know, terrible way to judge people, but I can’t help it.  I just assume they’ve got it all figured out and my word usage is just mepretending to have it all figured out as well.  Some days I’m better at faking it than other days, but hey, fake it til you make it!

My conversations tend to be filled with either one extreme or the other: Witty Sarcasm or Intimate Passion and Honesty.  I don’t know the in between of proper mingling techniques within common conversation.  I’m either going to make you laugh or speak the truth and touch your heart.  Doesn’t seem fitting with you adults out there…

I’m sure, somewhere over the rainbow, there’s a therapy group for “Social Etiquette: How to Speak Adult” and if there is, then sign me up.  Because I don’t know a flipping thing about how to speak mundanely on mortgages, stock market, 401K or any other boring topic.  I’d rather enjoy conversation with a person who finds the little things in life as interesting and put in an effort to make me laugh.  There’s too much serious matter in day-to-day life as it is, why stress out someone else with serious talk?

Just throwing this out there and a COMPLETE side note: A good date, to me, is good conversation full of quirky little stories and bouts of humor.  If you go on a date with me and start telling me about your job, mortgage, how many cars you own, your salary, retirement plan or speaking complexities, I guarantee you, I’ll be excusing myself to go powder my nose, then finding an exit somewhere stiffing you with the bill.  Just sayin’…

Final Note: The part where I screwed up with my word usage is that I never looked up the true meaning behind the words I’ve chosen to use (Google the word, epiphany.  That is NOT what I thought it meant!).  Now, for those of you who actually speak to me face-to-face, you will catch yourself following my every word to see which ones I use incorrectly and possibly second-guessing your own knowledge of the word.  In return, when I catch you playing on your phone while we are in mid-conversation, I will assume that you’ve decided to Google a word just to double check which one of us is correct.

I see your challenge, and I accept…

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